It was the best of times. It was the worst of times.
"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to Heaven, we were all going direct the other way – in short, the period was so far like the present period, that some of its noisiest authorities insisted on its being received, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only."
Charles Dickens A Tale of Two Cities
My baby turns six months old today. He is a big healthy happy boy. Today at our pediatrician visit we saw some good friends. The girl I have babysat for almost ten years, lets call her Ray and her mom, we'll call her Bee. It was the first time we'd seen each other since before the quarantine, since before the baby was born. It was wonderful! They got to hold the baby and we all hugged and smiled so hard our faces hurt, under our masks.
I got home and put baby boy down for a nap and I realized I was still smiling. But then I started to cry. I thought about everything that has changed in the last six months. At the end of February I had my baby shower. My C-section was already scheduled. My twin sister and Bee hosted the shower at the local country club. My big sister came up from the beach, cousins were there, moms, aunts, all sorts of people came together to celebrate the coming of our little boy.
Two weeks later the government shut down the schools and most businesses. I was 9 months pregnant and suddenly my doctors office was limiting access to patients only. My mother in law would drive me to my appointments and wait outside in her car. They told me there was a chance I'd be in the delivery room alone. I was terrified.
When that Monday arrived I was allowed my partner and no one else. I was grateful that he was in the room during the surgery, holding my hand, in gloves and full protective gear. I told him not to look. I saw his eyes get big and his face turn white and I knew he was looking. I heard all the nurses say awwww, before i saw him. Then they handed him to his daddy. He was perfect. Then I started seeing stars. Baby and daddy were rushed out of the room and my doctors were still behind the curtain putting me back together and I could here one yelling at a nurse. They put something in my IV. It was something to help stop the bleeding, I found out later. I'd lost a lot of blood. They worked to sew me up inside and out and then wheeled me into a room where baby and daddy were waiting.
No visitors were allowed in the hospital after the baby was born. Grandmothers and Aunts saw him via FaceTime. They were limiting hospital stay times to conserve PPE so I was sent home on Wednesday morning. It was a few weeks in to quarantine and everyone was panicking. So, that meant no visitors. It also meant shortages on things a new mom needs, diapers, formula, wipes, toilet paper and cleaning products. We found what we needed, but it was never easy. I won't forget the feelings, the scarcity and having to go hunting around multiple stores, while healing from having my gut sliced open and an eight pound baby pulled out of it, the weather warming up, and I'm wearing an N-95 mask. Venturing out only to look for vital supplies, hoping I'm not bringing home germs to the new baby. We had a scare. Allergy season. We knew we had allergies, but the cough came and we we worried. Out of precaution the baby went to his grandparents while we waited to get tested. And waited some more for results. The negative results went on the fridge like a good test grade. The days without the baby were so hard for me. I cried so much.
After the baby was born my partner started Covid unemployment and I went and got WIC. We've been on a tight budget. But it was a blessing to have him home, just the three of us bonding. At the same time it has been lonely. We have had FaceTime visits and texted loads of pictures and videos but for the most part our bubble is limited to the grandparents who live down the street, and our friend who runs the pizza place around the corner.
My Dr. appointments were virtual. My incision check consisted of a phone call and a series of questions. My lactation consultations were all over the phone. Baby was having trouble latching. It was difficult for me emotionally not to be able to breast feed him. One day we were having cuddle play time and I was trying to get the baby to stick out his tongue. We were watching PBS on YouTube. I think I said out loud, "why can't you stick out your tongue." A few minutes later YouTube recommended a video about a newborn baby who was tongue tied. I had never heard of it. I stuck my fingers in my baby's mouth and looked under his tongue, or at least I tried to, his tongue was totally tethered to the bottom of his mouth. I spent the next hour researching and freaking out. But the more I read the more i felt ok. It was a simple fix. We had a pediatrician appointment that week, it was the first where we checked in over the phone from outside, and everyone but baby wore masks. We were referred to a wonderful pediatric dentist, where we checked in from the parking lot by text. A nurse in full PPE greeted us at the truck and took our temperatures before escorting us inside, opening each door for us. The dentist's first question was about my lactation consultant. Why didn't she catch it earlier? I told her that she didn't catch it, YouTube did. And why didn't she see the baby's stuck tongue? Covid. Telemedicine. It isn't right for everything. The surgery went totally great and baby can now stick out his tongue and make smiling silly faces while he does it. I'm glad we figured out why he couldn't latch but it was too late. I missed out on being able to breast feed my baby boy.
In August my big strong partner went in for total knee replacement. He was tested for Covid twice leading up to the surgery. I was allowed to wait in a waiting area alone, masked during his four hour surgery. He had 20 years of bone growth around an old injury. The Dr. said it was one of the worst knees he had ever seen. He had to wear a mask after he came out of the OR. He also had to stay in the hospital overnight alone. The recovery was painful. Ice all the time, thankful for the trash bags of ice from the pizza place! The baby had to stay at his grandparents at first. We saw him everyday but I was full time caring for a man who couldn't move. It was a stressful time. After a week the baby was home and I was taking care of two babies. Very busy mom. After they were both asleep at night, I'd sit down to relax and write my blog. It has been my stress relief. A mini vacation every night. I've been writing for almost two months. My blog has been viewed more than a thousand times.
I've written a couple of introductory blogs explaining my intent. Let's Take a Virtual Vacation Together! and Join my Journey I started this blog because as a new mom during the covid quarantine, I wasn't leaving the house. I desperately missed traveling and the outdoors. My first few blog posts were looooong. I wrote my first post inspired by a trip to Huntington Beach State Park, it truly was a journey down the rabbit hole of South Carolina History. I even got into the rise and fall of rice plantations. Then, I reminisced about camping as a child in Cherokee, North Carolina at the KOA Campground. I went on and on about the history of appeasement and assimilation and the kitschy Disneyfication of a culture. I wrote about a swamp beast, a breakdown, some 'Indians', pirates, & paradise in my very detailed blog about Cape Fear and the Green Swamp. I've written long posts about New Year's Eve camping on the beach and the surprising history of Freeman Park Carolina Beach. I told y'all all about how groundwater flows through NC, with extensive explanation of the Cape Fear River tributaries and the History of High Point, North Carolina. I took readers on a long journey through The Dow Road Woods and the super interesting chemical plant ruins. I examined the origins of the Carolina Bay's and researched camping at Lake Waccamaw, NC . I traveled to Little River, South Carolina and went night kayaking. And in Fort Payne, Alabama I visited a church where they took up snakes.
No comments:
Post a Comment